The next time you are in a meeting have a notice of how many times someone cuts across the talk of someone else. See how many times someone actually gets to finish what they were saying before someone else starts talking. You may have already noticed that some meetings are just a fight to be heard. You may also notice how some comments are not really relevant to the previous comments and are rather just whatever that person wanted to say and was waiting to get a turn! Its as if we have lost the capability to listen to each other and then make a considered reply based on what had been said. Meetings like this can fail to achieve the result that was intended which was propbably to resolve an issue or generate some ideas. Probably all that happens is that some people get to say how much they know about a certain topic and thus massage their self worth for a bit.
So the biggest crime here is that we don’t listen. By this I mean actually stop talking and stop thinking about what we want to say next and actually really concentrate on what the other person is saying. It takes self control but the benefits are huge. Here are a few benefits of listening:
1. In a calm environment where people feel they are being listened to - ideas are generated. We are little creators waiting to happen and we need room.
2. By listening more you hear more points of view and can therefore make better judgement decisions
3. You will be able to pick up on feelings, intent and body language which can be lost if you are just trying to push your point of view.
4. You will gain respect from the people you are listening to – people like to feel appreciated and be recognised and by listening intently you are projecting respect for them and what they are saying. Basically you will be liked more!
5. People will open up more and feel free to express themselves – in a creative environment this is exactly what you are looking for.
6. Misunderstandings are avoided and reduced as clear communication channels are created
7. Listening creates a feeling of goodwill in professional relationships. Improve your relationships by listening non-judgmentally to the concerns and problems of others. The more you listen without judgment, the more freedom speakers have to find their own solutions to problems.
8. Meetings will have a calmer vibe about them, people will relax and open up and more will be achieved.
9. You will feel more relaxed and therefore live longer !! – big statement I know but its probably true.
10. A collaborative environment conducive to positive thinking is produced.
Unfortunately in a world that promotes an environment where its ‘all about me’ the desire to listen can be stifled at times. But expressing our wants, feelings, thoughts and opinions clearly and effectively is only half of the communication process needed for interpersonal effectiveness. The other half is listening and understanding what others communicate to us. The benefits are clear.
As Larry Nadig says :- "We were given two ears but only one mouth, because listening is twice as hard as talking."
Happy listening.
By Adam Walker – Director at Conduit Recruitment (www.conduitgroup.com.au)
